Room for 2 ... or 12 - Our trip with April
After Christmas, we spent some time with a friend. We went up for a hotel vacation with April who also lives with DID. We wanted to get to know her, take a break from my life and rest. We rested alright. Not being well at different times, we both, April and I managed to share nice moments, share lots of laughs and to mostly learn. I learnt a lot about DID as a whole, and how every system manifests itself and grows differently through observing us and April's system. One of the most prominent lessons I learned was from one of April's parts is she compared my system to a revolving door. Everyone is in there, the door is spinning but no one is getting out. They have time to say hi and then back in
the door they go because it's spinning to fast. I think that that rings really true to my system. No one is fronting or taking on tasks, we are spinning just causing me a headache. April suggested I start with a schedule, or responsibilities that each part needs to contribute to. I wrote a note in our journal that night. Bree instantly wrote that she would take care of showering and that she wanted some time in the night time to be able to front. Other than that, everyone else seems very resistant or unsure to adhere to these so called rules or guidelines I'm trying to put into place. Everyone fronts when they want to at this point. This more chaotic than helpful. I need some structure. How do i get all of my parts involved? Well, my theory is learning and growing with them, getting to know them and constantly saying things out loud or writing things down so that everyone can see and hear and feel. Example of an experiment I tried after the trip: a friend was filling the coffee maker for the next day when we woke up, I would just have to turn it on in the morning. This is not something that we do at home so i told my system out loud: LOOK. I didn't want one of us to mindlessly throw the coffee away or start filling the machine with water first thing. I told everyone out loud to look at my friend getting the machine ready. The next morning, I didn't wake up, Daniel did. He remembered what I said and just turned the machine on. That was an experiment, if i mindfully try to communicate, we have a better chance at harmony and cohesiveness. Thanks April, we have learned a lot with you and from you. Our living pact lives on and so will we. Thank you.
You can follow April on twitter: @AFR365
or visit her blog: http://idisassociate.blogspot.com/